"I find it astoundingly privileged when anti-s/m people talk about how, for example, doing power exchange is “bringing in” all these terrible things from the outside world into your relationship. When you’re disabled, lack of power is such a huge part of who you are that it’s hard to imagine that not being a part of any relationship you have. So, like, that would be really cool to be worrying about “bringing in a hierarchy” or “bringing in brokenness” into a relationship. It sounds like a charmed life."

—

Amanda Forest Vivian, “Hurt, Power, and Disability.”

The link goes to an excellent, excellent post about what BDSM can mean to people with disabilities.

(via neurodivergentsexuality)

This, so very much this. I’ve been trying to write a sensible response here, talking about how so very many levels of power exchange and interplay overlay every relationship, especially the ones between partners and I where we’re all crips, all doing carer type stuff for each other alongside the usual you’d expect in a relationship - I can’t imagine how to not see that stuff.

tbh it pretty much feels as if the only way to do so would be to pretend it wasn’t there - and that’s a minefield of dubious consent and methyl ethyl relationship badshit.

(via nothingbutsurrender)

This is the most interesting thing I’ve seen written about this subject in a long time. I’m a sex positive feminist, and as a general rule, I think that no one should shame anyone else for sex in any way,  as long as it’s between consenting adults.

But I still struggled with how to reconcile certain things about BDSM with the type of egalitarian relationship that I consider the “feminist utopia” type of relationship- how people could respect each other, but still enjoy power dynamics in sex. This makes complete and total sense. Thank you.

(via alexandraerin)